i just heard a bouncing noise and then that was followed by my dad saying
"oh no my potato"
how to take a test: cry on the paper and the choice closest to your tear is the answer
- me: *sees dog*
- me: *forgets what im talking about and points out dog*
I wish I was a guy they’re not afraid to shit in public also they get paid more
If an intruder ever comes to fucking murder you. You throw your mother fucking head back pull your arms in weird shapes and whip your head forward again and say the anti crist has awoken whilst smiling the biggest smile you have ever made. no smart person would ever fuck around with you if you did that.
STOP REBLOGGING THIS PLEASE ABORT MISSION ABORT MISSION
I HAVE NEVER LAUGHED SO HARD IN MY LIFFFEEE
- baby: m....m...m
- mom: mama? ma? mommy?
- baby: m...m...
- baby: m..mY ANACONDA DONT